Thoughts endless – Not meaningless

Do you have a thought that you try to repeatedly brush aside? If Yes. You are like me.

I have almost 100s of such thoughts, that are locked or brushed aside, swept away that I have to make peace with. Once I make peace with them, the peace stays for a certain while, then it starts to crumble and uneasiness precipitates. It builds up and builds up, until it slowly starts teeming out of the surface, in your day to day affairs, your everyday conversations and your outlook on life.

If you are even more like me, the unaddressed thoughts can completely cripple you. Depress you, make you not even want to get up in the morning.

But wait – Did you not already make peace with them?

Yes. But I didn’t do justice to it.

What gives? Well what gives is that there is a difference between half-addressing your thoughts and completely nailing them down. Locking them in a pressure cooker and firmly closing the lid, or leaving them on the stove top letting them simmer.

OK, so there is a difference in having people addressing your concerns and you addressing your concerns.

If you have a very active subconscious that means there is a write inside you. If there is a write inside you, that means the writer needs an outlet. If that writer doesn’t get an outlet, that means there are going to be leaks. There is going to be steam leaking, There is going to be scalding, and burn injuries.

Well, did you deserve this? No, but with every gift comes a burden. With the gift of writing, the gift of expression, the gift of abstract thought and insightful thinking, comes the gift of an over-active imagination, a hyper active brain, and incessant stream of thoughts.

Well, what is to be done? What is to be done is to write.

Write, write, write. Not for fame, not for having people hear you out, not for making yourself known. But merely to survive the demons that are locked deep inside your closet.

You have to make peace with yourself. If you do not, the recurring thoughts and patterns are just going to come day-in, day-out.

Tazabzub is what this is called in Urdu. Let me write the definition here.

تذبذب

Tazabzub

Vacillations

Well, write. Write write.
And maybe push it into the endless ocean that is the internet. Maybe, your bottle will be picked up by someone wandering on the sea shore. Someone who is running into the same emotional and mental torture as you are.
Maybe that someone might actually experience some healing by reading what cured another fellow being.
Maybe until we harness the gift God has bestowed on us, the gift becomes a curse.
Similar to what God repeatedly says in the Quran, Give Thanks, be Thankful.
Well, what is the highest way of giving Thanks, using the gifts bestowed on you and using them to help other people in need.
Be a tree, with fruits. The fruits you already have. You just need to extend the branches out. For a writer it means writing. A healthy fruit is where the fruits are picked out when fresh and ripe. Not when they turn sour, over-ripe and fall down.
“God is all there is” – felt experientially – Not theoretically. Not in Books, but in the deepest recesses of the truth that lies in our being.